The Bottle

Why is it that the biggest things in life are the easiest to give up on?
Anything and everything that brings me down simultaneously wipes out everything in my life that makes it worth living. It's just too easy to allow them to take me far away from anything that matters, because everything that matters also comes with the hardest work. I can't stand so much about what it is that I love, and I know that when I let it all go, I hurt myself. Why was the universe made this way? Why couldn't everything great be easy and everything bad be hard?
When I'm at a point in my life where I'm not being brought down, I still refuse to let the good in. I'm so far in that I can't let myself out, not alone anyway. It's still too easy to push you away. I do feel sorry for myself. My intentions aren't to hurt you, or me. My intentions are to have you with me always, to keep you close, but I feel like I'm watching myself from the outside looking in. My mind and my body aren't one unit. They're lost, and one doesn't want to find the other.